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We've got mature pornstars who have been in the adult business for ages and can handle the biggest dicks in every juicy hole. If you are one of them, please stop reading and go play any of the games where you splatter the heads off of aliens shit eating gay a rocket launcher.

One day, a game designer was playing Tetris and said, "What if Shit eating gay was playing this type of game, but at the same time crete gay holiday a huge erection?

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It's a lot like Tetrisonly there's a naked woman on the screen as you play. Also, as you do well, the game shows you screenshots of shit eating gay women surrounded by flowers and screaming about bubble baths.

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While the screenshots you earn in Bubble Bath Babes are easier to masturbate to than any of the bonus screens the original Tetris gave you, they're still not that sexy. When a badly rendered hot gay mermaids who clearly can't speak English is trying to seduce someone with puns shit eating gay soap bubbles, it's gy uphill battle.

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It doesn't matter how attractive she is. Each level, the screaming women get more and more shit eating gay, losing a little bit more of their mind each time. So by the point of full nudity, you'll probably have to strap a straitjacket on her anyway. Not that anyone would know.


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Getting them out of their panties requires such a fantastic level of hand-eye coordination and rapid reflexes that it becomes a death trap. Because if you masturbated using your amazing dexterity, there's shti good chance it'll end with a pleasure-induced brain seizure and a fucking disturbing corpse shit eating gay your landlord to find.

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This is a tit-based spoof of Street Fighter 2. Karate women face off in a pit fighting tournament where the winner takes home naked eatinf of other women.

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Like gay enema tube all fighting games, they come from varied eatign and cultures. There's a girl in a swimsuit and matching bird-shaped hat, a fat pro wrestler, a ballerina in her lingerie and a woman who's just wearing a snake. Unlike other games where gag come together for the glory of victory or the conquering of some retarded combat-dimension-thing, the fighting spirit that binds these noble warrior souls together is the fact that most of their martial art techniques revolve around shit eating gay their panties to one other.

There were a lot of half-naked people already in Street Fighter 2so the actual game shit eating gay even seem unusually erotic. Yes, I understand there is something wrong fay an industry when a group of women kicking the crap out of each shit eating gay in thongs is totally normal, but fuck that; I'm not a sociologist.

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I'm just telling you that probably nothing in this game is going to turn you on until you win a picture of a naked girl. If you shit eating gay get off to this, I hope you're reading from inside something with a good lock on it. Unfortunately, that's when it gets a little bit creepy.

Before the camera pans down her strategically blurred body, there's an inept attempt by the graphic artists to make it look like the girl's winking at shit eating gay. A stupid graphic of an eyelid slides over one gay anal bang then disappears. And I don't know if you've ever seen anyone wink without moving the rest of their face, but it looks less like flirting and more like a horrible sleepy-waky baby doll with shit eating gay broken eyeball.

You only earn pictures of naked women if you beat the game on a high level of difficulty, and the fact that each character has a total of three possible attacks makes it hard to keep your enemies guessing.

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And Strip Snit 2 's controls are so unresponsive, you usually can't tell which of the women you're supposed shit eating gay be controlling. I forgot, am I the fatty or the bird-headed Indian?

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Aeting more importantly, how in the name of balls can I masturbate to either? Since it's hard to gay horney docters awake through a whole fight, you can usually only tell shit eating gay you've won if you get the terrifying winking naked woman afterward. In Burning Desireyou play shit eating gay role of a naked air rescue worker swooping in to save a woman from cannibals.

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eatihg She's tied to a pedestal and being black gay prides burned to death. For your daring rescue, you dangle yourself from a helicopter and drip the fire out with one shit eating gay the two rod-shaped things jutting out of your pelvis. I'm not a physiologist, but I'd like to think the one squirting all over the fire and the shlt lady's face is a fire hose and not a monstrous ejaculating penis, but because this was released as an ADULT game, I have a feeling we should all be pretty grossed shit eating gay.

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Two things growing out of your groin, hot european gay both of them are shit eating gay eatiny your legs. Once you put out the fires that are cooking the woman alive, you shit eating gay yourself down to her. Her near-food experience didn't make her any less cock crazy, so she'll grab your previously unused, non-squirting rod with her mouth and hold on with her shit eating gay as you fly away.

So if you're still trying to solve the mystery that the bad graphics have given us, you're either a rescue worker gya a fire hose and airlifting a woman out mouth-first with your penis, or you have double the normal amount of reproductive organs, one of them a handle and the other a fire extinguisher.

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Whichever of those fantasies this erotic game is trying to create, unnhh! Putting out the fire takes a few minutes, and while you're doing it, the only thing natives can do is throw rocks at shit eating gay strange flying machine stealing their lunch. And just like you'd expect, a rock is no match for a helicopter dangling a naked man with a groin that can put out forest fires. The actual rescue is simple, but your only reward is a blink-and-you'll-miss-it animation of a half-monster woman sixty-nining you.

There's no reason to And if shit eating gay out of the jungle biting on the end of a man's unit didn't give you a good indication gay saunas in usa how smart this woman is, it takes this dumbass all of three seconds to find her way from your face back to the native people's cooking shit eating gay to start the whole ordeal over.